Lessons will range from how to tie your shoes, how to shoot
a jump shot, how to shave, to more character driven lessons like making sure
you treat others with kindness, why integrity matters, etc.
However, the lesson regarding social media is a tricky one,
as our current generation of children and the subsequent ones will grow up in a
world where social media will exist their whole lives and every action they
have can #hashtagbesharedwithalongandsometimesunnecessaryhashtag
I realized that all of our kids will now be navigating a
landscape in which we didn’t have prior experience from our lives to share with
them, as our version of social media growing up was Mom or Dad pulling out
their wallet photos and sharing them with their friends at the local
Blockbuster.
But kids today face many opportunities with social media,
but also many challenges, and I feel being able to help them understand this
world they will be a part of is now going to be as important of a lesson as
anything else we may teach them when it comes to social interaction and people
skills.
Let’s see if we can help set our kids up for success in the
world of social media with 3 essential rules:
1. Anyone can see everything
As kids we feel we live in a bubble growing up, our friends,
family, and basically the people we can see within a bike ride of our
neighborhood. But with social media, we’ve learned that anyone can see anything
you post.
Regardless of privacy settings, the second a post is sent
out to the world, it’s there potentially forever. While the majority of posts
are intended for followers (hello Fortnite and bottle flipping videos), it’s
very easy for any one of them to screen shot an image or post, and save it and
redistribute it, or if privacy settings are turned off, then for anyone to see
it.
I think reminding our kids that everything they post could
be seen by their parents, teachers, coaches, etc, brings a level of reality and
responsibility to posts. Making sure they are aware that what they say and post
won’t exclusively be seen by their friends can help develop an early level of
thinking before sending, in which your kiddos will ponder whether or not they
want grandma to see that video or image they may post.
2. When it comes to followers, quality over quantity
Social media is interesting in that to a degree, it can
quantify popularity. Kids with larger follower amounts than others is a recipe
for an unhealthy development of a social hierarchy, and many kids unfortunately
compare and contrast follower accounts, attributing them to their own
self-esteem (and let’s be honest, we do that as ADULTS!).
However, followers aren’t the most important aspect of
social media or life. I’m a firm believer in quality relationships being a
critical foundation for a joy-filled life. I think many of us would rather know
and have a relationship with 3 best friends, instead of being known by 300
strangers. Explain to your kiddo that followers don’t matter, but quality
friendships and relationships do. Have them reflect and discuss who their best
friends are in real life, and encourage posts and dialogue between those best
friends.
I think we all can get excited if we see that “like” count
increase, but it can also be a dangerous motivator, as the line on posts may
get pushed further and further in the interest of garnering more “likes”. Try
to minimize value placed on likes and followers, and instead concentrate it on
quality friendships and conversations.
3. Everyone is showing off their highlights
This is a big one that I’ll admit I’m guilty of from time to
time. When we scroll through social media, we need to be honest with ourselves.
95% of the posts are typically someone sharing a highlight or special moment in
their life, which is obviously justified and one of the reasons we are inspired
to use social media.
However, as we go through our day, good and bad things
happen. There are moments we love to share such as a family member doing
something cute, a new job promotion, an award, or vacation/experience photos.
But we also have things we would never share; a flat tire, our dog puking in
their crate, stress at work, or any other daily adversity we all face.
Where social media can potentially be dangerous is that we
feel the highs and lows of our days because we experience every moment. When we
are browsing people’s highlights only, it can create this false sense of
reality in which it seems like EVERYONE is living their best life ever, and
that’s when the comparison kicks in. While someone is off in Italy on vacation,
you just got pulled over for speeding; when someone just got a new job offer;
you maybe ran into some tension at work; I could go on and on but I think you
get it.
Telling your kids that every picture or post they see could
be perfectly framed, edited, and worded in a way to make it seem like someone
is living their best life possible, helps them realize that that there is can be an inauthentic sense to social media. Remind them that everyone has struggles on a
daily basis, we just don’t all reveal them. It’s important for our kids not to
compare their daily lives, with the collective highlights of everyone else.
This is certainly not a comprehensive list of everything our
kiddos should be aware of when it comes to social media, but hopefully with a
solid foundation and understanding of the opportunities and consequences of
social media, we can help them navigate what figures to be a huge part of their
lives as they continue to grow up.
We can also help steer your kiddo into being the healthiest
and happiest they can be, simply join us for a Jordan Kent Skill Camp sometime this year, and we promise to give them a week they’ll never forget!